4amThoughts

I will destroy you. I will make you love me without even trying; you’ll love the scabs on my knees, the bruises under my eyes, my singed hair. You will love the rush of holding my hand as we cross the bridge; you’ll feel like a hero each time I don’t jump. You will buy me chocolates, the most expensive, to guilt me into eating. You will buy me seeds instead of flowers, to give me a reason to get up in the morning. You will make me dependent, even as I feed your white knight complex. I will destroy myself, and so you, and you will know why storms are named after people.

Her small, anxious hands grabbed the cup, a bit too large as it slipped down and tumbled to the ground, the milky mess covering the carpet: her mother let out a disapproving sigh and rolled her eyes, “Will you ever do anything right?” and that’s when she began to limit her aspirations, so that her dreams would never be too large, so she’d never make any mistakes she’d never again drop the cup, but she’d never have enough to drink.